Swinging away from the Man in the Dark

Swinging at school was my favortie thing to do. I remember how it felt as you would swing so high that the breeze would come through your hair. It was the closest one could come to flying as a child. I always wondered what would happen if you swang to high. Would the swing go all the way over and come back around. Would your swing fly off and you could be like Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. My imagination was huge at that age and it was what saved me all the time. I was the kid who daydreamed in class. Wrote creative stories and heart felt poems for my teachers. When they asked what I was going to be when I grew up I always said" Dr. Suess of course." Reading came easy for me and it was a great escape. I would read anything I got my hands on even the Shakespear in my mom's book shelf in the hall upstairs. I loved to escape my little world when ever I had the chance. Children would come and go and we would sit down as a family and talk about adopting more. I didn't care who they adopted I had so much else on my mind. Although I did request a sister a few times. That wouldn't happen as we got another brother. William Jacob Wilson came into our life. We called him Jake he was only 6 months old and we drove to Cour delane to pick him up from a foster home. I will never forget how happy a baby made my mom. Seemed like each time she got happier and life seemed like it was going the right way in a long time for her. She and Dad stopped fighting all the time and everything was smooth. If she had only known the torment that was going on in my life. It was 1983 I just started 3rd grade and my biggest fear was the man in the dark. He had began to vist me when I was around 7 but now he came every night. Even though I couldn't see his face the terror ran through my little body. At first it was just a blur as I woke up and couldn't figure out why my panties had fallen off. I pulled them up and rolled over and went back to sleep. Night after night this would go on. Then one night I pretended to be asleep to figure out how that kept happening maybe their was a monster under my bed. Then peeping beneath my covers and my half closed eyes,I seen the man in the dark. Above my bed his shadow would stand all I could make out was a man. With my panties off and nightgown up he peed on the floor. As a little girl I had no idea what he was really doing so peeing only made sense. Having brothers around I knew they stood to pee. This pee smelled funny and he made a wierd noise. Then night after night he would do this and then one night he touched me. As he slipped his fingers into me I would close my eyes and try to forget about the man in the dark. My tummy hurt and I felt like I couldn't breath as he got on top of me the pain and I felt some sharp pain from below my tummy. Though I had no clue what was happening or why I knew my imagination could save me from this pain. I would just simply swing on a swing like the swings at school and pretend I could swing in a white fluffy could. Swinging and Swinging away in my dreams I would drift off to sleep. In the morning the man in the dark was gone. It was a nightmare that came everynight and each night the man in the dark would get on top of me and push something into my tummy and make it hurt. He had something that hurt and I didn't know what but opening my eyes was just too much. Tears sled down my face and hit my pillow and I would sneak off to my seceret place. A place where you could swing and for as long as you wanted. No one would make you count and you really could fly. Through white fluffy clouds in the sky. When I awoke the nightmare would end tell one morning when I went to go potty. I found that I was bleeding and I was too scared to tell my mom she would have spanked me for sure. I was so scared so I sat down in the corner of the bathroom and sucked my thumb and rocked back and forth back and forth. When she called me to tell me to get ready for school. I got up threw them away and got dressed and off to school I went. Now I had to know who the man in the dark was. I had to open my eyes and see what he was doing. I just had to find out but I didn't know that would change my whole life.
To be continued